Random Life As I Know It

To Go or Not To Go

Last night in class we were discussing what happens for most of us in the very near future: we all graduate, and we need to decide what we want to do with the rest of our lives.  That is, if we haven’t figured it out yet. This is how it is for an English major, particularly if you are like me, and do not want to teach. And believe it or not, not all English majors want to be a teacher.

Anyways, a couple of years ago when I decided to go back to college I had a set plan.  I would finish my Bachelor’s and then go to a post-baccalaureate program to become a paralegal.

Here’s a fact: I have never had a job that I love.  I hate that, and I am sure I am not alone in that thought. I like my current job. But it is not what I want to do for the rest of my life. I work with a bunch of people who all hate their jobs, or at the very least, dislike their job. I don’t know why they all keep working there, but then again, that’s their deal to work out, not mine.  All I know, is that because I know I do not want to work my current job for the rest of my life, I am trying to find a way to get myself to a point of moving on. That’s why I am going to college.

This is what happened when I went to school the first time: I chose majors that I didn’t really love and as a result I didn’t like college. So I quit college and went to a vocational school to get another job that I just kind of liked. I worked in that field for about 6 years before I quit my job to become a full-time stay at home mom.

This is what happened when I went back to college two years ago: without anyone to talk me out of it, I chose English as a major, and from the moment I sat down in my first college class after 20  years, I knew I had made the right decision.

So a funny thing happened when I went back to college:  I found out I actually liked going to school. The first semester was a little hard transitioning with my kids/work/life, a challenge I didn’t have the first go around.  The second semester I made the dean’s list for the first time ever.   I found my rhythm.

This is my current dilemma, one that I know I have never had: I love school, and I’m not sure I’m ready to stop going to college.  However, I am very close to getting my bachelor’s degree, and because of that, I have a decision to make:

  1. Either be done with school and get a full-time job, or
  2. go to graduate school and get a Master’s degree and pursue the English thing, or;
  3. Stick to the plan I made a couple of years ago. That means going to school to become a paralegal and get a job.

If I didn’t have mouths to feed, rent to pay, etc. There would be no question what I would do.

But shouldn’t I be able to trust myself and allow myself the chance to follow my dreams?


















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